How to start and maintain a good conversation with the girl you like

Sometimes, guys see women as mysterious creatures, a little intimidating, but they aren’t. Undoubtedly, it is a fact that when it comes to meeting a woman (especially if you like her), the first obstacle that a man struggles to overcome is knowing how to approach her.

Apparently, the problem is that most guys don’t think about this until they are in front of the girl they want to interact with, but they achieve nothing since they get choked. However, there are flawless tips you can put into practice. Let’s see what they are.

The Power of Hey

Approach her, and words will come out. Start by saying hello, simple as that. This time, saying hello politely is better than a compliment or a pick-up line. After this, introduce yourself. Be straightforward, and don’t show you’re nervous. You may use questions like: “Hi, my name is Louis, what’s yours?” (Or, “Hello, I’m Josh. What’s your name?”).

If you are in a club, you have more choices. You could invite the girl to a treat. For example: “Hello, my name is Alex. Would you like something to drink?

Another way to get her talking is to raise your glass to hers and say: “Cheers!” See this as one of the best options to pave the way for a possible conversation. Try this out, she will probably see you like an old friend the next time you see her.

Some guys actually have learned to be bold enough to “cheers” to every woman in the club since they state it’s a good step to get things going in a place like this.

Ask her how her day has been

Asking how her day has been or what activities she’s been up to at school or work is a nice way to start a conversation. It also makes a good impression because she may feel you are truthfully interested in her and are very attentive.

Questions like “How are you today?” hardly ever fail. Be sure to listen to her and don’t get distracted, remember it’s not a rhetorical question, and girls always love to have listened.

In case of meeting late at night, after a supposedly hard day of work, you may turn to questions such as: “How was your day?” or “What were you up to today?

Avoid long answers if she asks you the same in return. This kind of question is open and occasionally prompts girls to speak a little bit more, giving you a chance to show her you’re a good listener.

Strategies to approach any  girl
Strategies to approach any girl

Bring up something she may know

Talking about somebody or something you think she may know about is definitely another strategy to approach any girl. Just look around and focus on the place you are, there must be something unusual that’s discussion-worthy.

No matter where you are, there’s always somebody wearing eccentric clothing, or acting inappropriately. The key lies in using what is happening in your surroundings for the conversation, but make sure she has shown some reaction to it.

For example, if you see a man wearing too baggy clothes, and you find him funny, you could come up with a tactful joke; something similar to: “I think that man over there looks perfect for you”. If you made her smile or laugh, you won!

Talk to her the proper way

Talk to her like somebody you’d like to date and not like a friend. If you are interested in the girl, try to be less friendly and talk to her like someone you’d like to date in the future. This is part of not coming across as a boring guy.

Also, read here a few dating tips for shy guys if needed.

Don’t be afraid to let everything flow naturally, even if it gets a little flirty. Besides, there are tips you should consider to have a very good first contact, just like you were more than friends:

  • Don’t let her take control of the whole conversation: it’s simple, let her speak enough but don’t let her interrupt or speak over you. If she talks a lot, be nice and wait for the right chance to speak.
  • Don’t put her on a pedestal: remember, she’s just the girl you may be interested in, but not more than that. Start a conversation with her but don’t let feelings overtake you since it would be too soon for you to put somebody you just met on a pedestal. Take it easy.
  • Don’t agree with her all the time: women like men, always agree with them, but it’s not something wise this time. Please don’t do this, as she may think you are a pushover.
  • Don’t feel intimidated: try to relax; I know it’s a bit complicated, and many men fail to act normally and even experience sweaty palms. However, it is always important to stay positive. Intimidation occurs when bad or negative thoughts flood your mind and when you think everything will go wrong.

Other phrases to use in a bar or restaurant

  • The food in this place reminds me of: you can use this phrase when you meet the girl in a bar or a restaurant. You might as well replace “food” with “drink”, or if you feel food there smells delicious, comment on it or ask her if she thinks it smells amazing.
  • Don’t forget this popular question: “What’s your favourite food?” This is a very well-known question because it always works, and you would probably be asked the same thing in return: “It’s pizza, and what about yours?” Try this out.

Don’t talk about yourself too much

Many guys believe that telling girls every cool thing that’s great about them is the correct way to make a good impression. This could lead to endless bragging, a huge mistake as girls run away.

No matter how much money you make or how many cars you own, don’t bring up such things and be modest. This attitude makes the girl think you are looking for a gold digger, and she will pass you out.

Final recommendations

It’s not easy to overcome the fear of starting a conversation with the girl you like, but making a good first impression is necessary. Don’t make too many gestures; avoid twitching your body and moving your hands too much, as if you have ants underneath your pants or too much energy.

Stay focused, waving your hands, for example, shows you are not comfortable with your body and lack self-confidence.

Maintaining eye contact is essential; look her in the eye while conversing with her and even more if it is the first time you meet.

If you are shifty with your eyes, you may be conveying two messages: the first message is that you don’t care about her presence or that she’s boring you to death. And the second one is that you are a guy who gets easily distracted.

Both messages are equally terrible and generally leave a very bad first impression on a girl.